I like it when you flex like that.

There’s no proper food in the fridge containing the mummified terrapin. Oh wait, I lied, there’s half a doughnut. By proper food I mean proper food, like cabbage. My dinner consisted of a Pop Tart, mango pudding, apple pie and a sundae. Très très wholesome and nourishing. It may be nourishing fatwise but perhaps not vitaminwise.

I have to explain the mummified terrapin because the first sentence of this post just sounds too odd. My mum used to keep a pet terrapin which was ugly and slimy, typical of all terrapins or things that live in a shell. That’s why 90% of NJ should be in a shell. Not Belvia and her tortoise shell though. I think it’s mean of me to accuse the terrapin of being ugly and slimy because ugly is subjective and slimy, well it’s just its way of life isn’t it. Anyway I am the victim here ok! I have to ingest food kept in the same place as the terrapin’s carcass!! My mum kept the dead body wrapped up and placed it in the freezer, for what reason I don’t know. To pay respect to our late pet I suppose. It’s been there for a few years already. The terrapin has probably 成精. God of my fridge. Residing neatly above my precious ice cube tray.