I feel really zi bei now. I know it sounds like whining, like a joke but I AM SO SERIOUS. Why are there people like Nickel and people like me on Earth? His life is appears to be SOOOO carefree. The more I watch his videos and more I feel like, just giving up, on life, on everything. All he (seems to be) doing all day is just collecting really expensive clothes, collecting really expensive makeup, doing makeup, partying. Nothing to worry about at all. And I still don't have the faintest idea on what Coasts in Geography is about despite next week's class test. See the difference? Studying really puts me off at times. Usually before I crack a book I already feel like throwing it down and playing. I only persevere because I want to have a successful and fun career in future and not become a hobo. And to make money and live a comfortable life of course. I shudder to think of myself 15 years later at 30 years old being a housewife and in ratty tees and shorts and living in a standard 3-room HDB. So not flattering or fun. It feels like my whole life is wasted. I want to be like Nickel, carefree with nothing of that sort to bother me at all. The more I mull over it the more glum I become.